ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT
By MARTHA COWLEY
Kortney McCullough, a sophmore dance major, holds out her purity ring that serves to symbolize and remind the wearer of a personal vow to abstain from sex.
Although today’s society may appear to be driven by sex, some Chapman students are still managing to practice abstinence. Many students are saving themselves for marriage because of their religious beliefs, while others have not found the right person.
“I just know that the world has a conception of ‘if it feels good do it,’ but that is only a self-gratifying, selfish concept. Sex is the greatest act of intimacy and should be saved for the greatest commitment,” said freshman Josh Sorosky.
Shirley said that the transition into college makes students feel free and inspired to experiment with sex, drugs or alcohol. Students who abstain from sex are able to stay strong in their beliefs due to what Shirley describes as a moral compass.
“[Abstinence] is something deeper than a decision. It requires a compass where you wake up every morning and say, ‘Today, this is who I am, this is north and this is my belief system,’” he said.
As a pastor at a Christian church, his belief is that “although sex is a great thing” it is a gift a person can give to his or her future spouse “in the covenant of marriage.”
Sorosky also believes that God said sex should only occur during a life-long commitment to one person and that the Bible says that in marriage two become one.
“The greatest gift I can give my future wife is a lifetime of purity and commitment. It’s a gift of intimacy that I will save for my wife and my wife only,” he said.
With the guidance of his parents, Sorosky made the choice of abstinence. To ensure his morals had a strong foundation, he considered pre-marital sex and evaluated the pros and cons of his decision.
“You have to consider sex before marriage before you consider abstaining from it. Without knowing why [you’re abstaining], it’s hard to stick to even your own standards,” he said.
However, abstinence isn’t a choice that Sorosky had to make just once.
“It’s a decision you make every day you wake up, every time you are alone with your girlfriend or boyfriend and every time the temptation rises,” he said.
To avoid temptation, Shirley encourages students to align themselves with friends who have similar moral beliefs. If you are one person among a group who doesn’t share in your morals, it becomes easy to falter in your beliefs, he said.
Freshman Mackenzie Schepman is also abstaining from sex because of her religious beliefs. She feels that sex is an intimate act that should only be done when two people are completely devoted to one another.
“My parents always encouraged my sisters and me to wait until marriage to have sex, but ultimately it was my decision. I just kind of always knew I would wait,” she said.
Christine, a sophomore psychology major who spoke on condition of withholding her last name, is a born-again virgin. A born-again virgin is someone who has participated in premarital sex and then decided to renounce his or her old lifestyle and abstain.
“I gave up sex because I wasn’t enjoying my life as much as I should have. I felt like I was thinking about sex all the time and ignoring more important things. I felt like I was a sex addict,” she said.
Her choice to be born-again was personal and she plans to abstain from sex until “the right person comes along.”
“You’ll never get back the things you’ve done, just as you can’t change the past. The only thing you can change is from this day forward,” Sorosky said of born-again virgins.
Virginity is often defined as the state of never having sexual intercourse. However, Shirley and Sorosky agree that the word ‘virgin’ is just a term.
“For me, virginity is a matter of the heart. Nothing in your past can stop you from starting that daily decision on any day,” Sorosky said.
He also describes virginity as the “outward, inward and daily decision to stay pure.”
One outward expression of abstinence is a purity ring. Also known as a chastity or abstinence ring, it typically accompanies a religious promise to abstain from sex until marriage.
“Just as a marriage band is a commitment to only your husband or wife, a purity ring is a commitment to only your future spouse,” Sorosky said.
Celebrities such as the Jonas Brothers, Miley Cyrus and Jordin Sparks wear purity rings. Prior to their marriages, Jessica Simpson and Britney Spears also wore abstinence rings.
“If being pure is your outlook, there is no need to show it off to the world,” said sophomore Jessica Mitchell. “It’s your personal life. It’s your personal business.”
While some students are choosing abstinence, Chapman’s campus also has its share of students who aren’t abstaining.
The Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction reports that the average male loses his virginity at age 16.9, while the average female loses her virginity at age 17.4.
Sorosky feels the hook-up culture commonly associated with college life is a reflection of why so many marriages fail.
“It’s no wonder the divorce rate is so high when we are almost trained in college to move from one partner to the next,” he said.
Freshman Kyla Javier has chosen not to abstain from sex.
“I found the right person and we mutually told each other that we love each other. We waited, and didn’t rush into it,” she said.
She feels that peer pressure in college makes it difficult for many students to stay strong in their choice of abstinence.
“It’s hard to wait in college because people probably feel pressure or they might get made fun of,” she said.
Many of the people who wear purity rings or have taken vows as born-again virgins refused to be identified for this story. Those who live by abstinence feel like they might be mocked, especially in a hyper-sexualized college culture.
“I think abstinence is looked at as old-fashioned and because of that, the moral fiber that’s been woven has become unraveled,” Shirley said.
Contact this reporter: katelyn.geary@thepantheronline.com
